As I age days seem to fly by. It took such a long time to
turn 20, then 30 and 40. That is no longer true. Time is moving with
rapidity.
My advanced age has me reflecting. If I live only as long as
my father, only 12 years left. Our 50th wedding anniversary will be in 13 years
from now. To pass at the same age as Mother, 17 years remain. In essence, the
infinity of my life has become finite.
It is unlikely, but should I have inherited the age stamina
of the aunts on my father's side, I can last another 25 to 30 years. That
possibility seems unsettling in its significance, requirements and impact.
To all the people who wish me to quickly move on and get out
of their lives, start making the tick marks leading up to your supposed
celebration.
To close friends and family for whom some value arises from
my continued presence, I can only suggest that we celebrate one another as long
as possible, recognizing the quickly shortening time frame.
At this point, I harbor no fears. Death does not frighten
me. Other things associated with being alive really do.
I have markers for heart attack and Parkinson's. None is yet
apparent. Dementia has not been a factor in my family. Hopefully, I will not
end that trend. I would like to have the clarity and ability to remember
possessed by my aunt who turns 99 on her birthday this year. However, some of
the memories, had they survived, might break my heart and shorten the time span.
All of us will face these conundrums. None of us wants to.
Friends certainly are hesitant to reflect upon this awareness. So, the best
thing to do is to sing the words from the Brigham Young fight song, "Carry
On! Carry On!"
